How to pack way more than you need and be prepared for literally any situation.

As Coco said, we're going to have a little reunion this week! I could not be more excited! Our brother Michael is graduating from USC so the fam is returning back to our old Los Angeles stomping grounds for a long weekend. I'm especially excited because my hubby is taking off during sweeps (if you know someone who works in TV, you know this is rare) to come with us. Plus, Mike's girlfriend Krisla is coming too! Woot!

Nine days of surfing in Florida and island hopping in the Bahamas in April should have left me tan, but alas, I had four days of peeling like a Slytherin and now I've returned to my usual Snow White impersonation. So LA will hopefully leave me tanned once again! Unfortunately, there is no hope for Colleen, as clear can't take on colors. No offense seester, but it's true.

See? I'm desperate for a tan. R has been to about 30 baseball games this year & already looks ethnic, I know. 

Anyway, Colleen and I are opposites when it comes to packing. She makes lists. For the whole family. Everyone. When the dog comes, the dog gets a list. We all get lists. I don't work like that.

I try to pack early, but usually end up doing my best work in what Ritchie calls "the panic hour." I feel like I'm done, but at the last minute throw nineteen extra things in my bag (okay fine, Ritchie's bag since mine is already full), because I get nervous I won't like anything once I get where I'm going. And usually I do hate everything and end up buying a whole new wardrobe anyway (sorry Richard!), but that's beside the point.

So obviously I can't talk about orderly packing when I'm so comically bad at it.

What I can talk about is...

How to pack way more than you need and be prepared for literally any situation even though you will end up buying new things anyway.

What I Wear When I Travel

Something like this, Mr. T necklace highly recommended.

Scarf, to be used as a blanket, because Ritchie gets embarrassed when I publicly use a slanket
The Biggest Shoes I'm Bringing, so there's more room in my suitcase (if they're "not comfortable enough for walking through the airport" they're probably cheap & I wouldn't want to being cheap shoes on a trip anyway, duh)
Pants, as close to pajama jeans as socially acceptable (not white pants, because then I WILL get my period (Murphy's Law))
White Tee, I bang in this
Blazer, classes the whole thing up & I can easily take if off if I get hot

In My Purse

Contents of my makeup bag: Just the essentials to get to my natural look.

Another purse, also full of things
iPhone, in case a Nigerian prince contacts me in a bind and needs me to wire him money
Passport, so they have to let me back into America
Wristlet, this usually begins the trip full and doesn't end that way
Makeup, because my worst nightmare is losing luggage with my makeup in it
Snacks, Lara bars taste good with little bottles of rum
Trashy Magazines, this is literally the ONLY time I will buy a tabloid (not including while grocery shopping)
Games, deck of cards & LCR for unfriendly family competitions
Band aids, because my family tends to get aggressive during games
Cashmere Slippers, comfy!

In My Suitcase

Piled in the guest room waiting for R to criticize the amount of clothes I require for 3 days.

I try to stick within one color family, so this trip is basically black, white, and navy.

Bras and Panties, plus an extra pair of panties in my purse if I'm checking luggage, but in a secret location because you DO NOT want your business coming out when you're scrambling for change for your nonfat caramel macchiato, and I know this from experience
Bottoms, (at least 3) white, black and jeans (usually I wear the jeans on the flight), plus statement pants
Shirts, chambray, baseball tee, black tee
Jean Jacket, can go over literally anything and look cute
Maxi, can be dressed up, thrown over a suit for the pool, and even slept in
Swimsuits, if I'm going to a warm place, like LA, at least 3 suits, 2 bikinis & a one piece (because we're going to In n Out at minimum twice)
Fancy Dress, for the graduation
Shoes, (this is the part where it all goes to hell) dressy sandals, flip flops, pumps, etc, etc, etc
Exercise Clothes, just kidding
Gifts, if I think people deserve them or if social constructs force me to give them
Treats, for party I will throw in my hotel room, modeled after the one below (portable blacklight also encouraged but somewhat difficult to explain to foreign security.)




And there you have it, how to pack to be prepared for literally any situation, including Michael Scott's Girls Gone Wild Black Light Party.